Since when giving up maternity becomes another sacrifice that women need to make for successful career while childlessness does not usually relates to men with successful career? The answer is self-evident: since women undertake most of the work of raising children, they can hardly be “unencumbered” and make great success on career; however, men do not have the same problem, because, to some extent, they can be “unencumbered” but remain fatherhood at the same time, as long as their wives raise children for them at home.
The message about motherhood that I get from the society, which is strongly related to the U.S society, that I grow up in is that motherhood baffles women in pursuing successful career, so it is something that “new independent” women would be better not to pursue. And since China has been threatened by overpopulation for decades, Chinese people view low birth rate, for example in some North Europe countries, as a sign of social progress and childlessness as success of feminism, and Family Planning Committee keeps propagandizing late motherhood. But overpopulation is not the only factor that gives me that message about motherhood. Nowadays in China, most female actresses and singers over thirty are unmarried and motherless, and pregnancy often means giving up their career entirely or at least for several years. And the former vice-premier Yi Wu, the most active and successful female in government, remains single and motherless until retirement.
Although I largely agree that women have our rights to choose whether to have children or not, I still think it is abnormal that more and more women tend to give up their incomparable innate ability for career. Why the society never cheers on the most basic success of human being -- the happiness of family life?
However, the truth is motherhood does hinder women from pursuing successful career and often charges women for a high “mommy tax”. Women may be dismissed because of pregnancy (though the law prohibit employers from directly doing so, they still have excuses to fire pregnant or mother) or face penalties and decline on wage. And employers tend to hire motherless young women for they are more “unencumbered” than mothers. However, most people are not aware that this is discrimination. And when women hardly handle their career and family at the same time, they tend to think that it happens because they are not strong enough. As Cindy DiBiasi, who gave up suing the company that she worked for fifteen years but discriminated her because of her motherhood, has pointed out “there is a contradiction in these kind of suits, because in order to get punitive damages, you have to show damages; you have to show that you’re a wilting flower who has been hurt by all this. If you’re strong, and are determined not to be a victim, they can argue, so what’s the problem?”
But most women are not Laurel Gilbert, who wrote You’re not the Type, who can remain active on feminism works while raising two children, they are more like Maria Cristina Rangel who struggled to raise her children while pursuing higher education.
So the real problem is, this society does not provide enough welfare for the most important people among human being -- mother. If every country can provide women with such welfare that French and Scandinavian government provide for the mothers and children that make women to be more “unencumbered”, women can easily be more productive.
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